If the universe is constantly expanding, why does it always take me exactly 26 minutes to walk to work every day?

Submitted by Michael Lossau from Alton, Illinois

You've neglected to factor in the Hubble Constant, which is the number of years the Hubble Telescope functioned as it was intended, divided by the number of years it limped along with an unfocused mirror. This number is also known as the NASA confidence rating, which varies according to public whim and the energy NASA puts into public relations. Face it, this whole manned space program is a public relations ploy rather than a legitimate scientific enterprise. If Science were the goal, then we'd be launching twenty robotic space probes for every Space Shuttle we hurl into the cosmos, crossing our fingers and hoping it comes back safely. So stop your whining and just be grateful you have a job at all.

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