We now present our most popular items for your intellectual improvement. You'll find comedy gems from Dr. Science, the Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre boys, Ian Shoales, and Splurch, a new book about the dot.com roller coaster ride by Ducksbreathian Bill Allard.

Select the items that will fulfill your deep psychic needs and then click on one of the "Review Your Shopping Cart" buttons. Then you'll be able to tell us where to ship the goodies and how you'll pay for them. You'll have a choice of shipping methods and nothing will be charged to you without your final approval. Have a fun time shopping.    More about The Dr. Science Store

Here's how to display arrogance in style while enjoying your favorite beverage. This bright yellow ceramic mug has the "Ask Dr. Science!" logo on one side, & "I Know More Than You Do" in knowledgeable black letters on the other. Note: add $3 shipping charge for each mug.

On one reasonably-priced disk we've been able to pack in 64 minutes of listening pleasure and a extra-special Dr. Science screen saver for Windows computers. You'll thrill to 50+ Dr. Science answers to puzzlers like why modems make that awful noise, where recycled Windows files go to, the actual gender of diskettes, why computers hate us, what laser beams are made of, and where q-tips came from. In addition, you'll hear Dr. Science describe his home computer, how he invented the Internet, and where email came from. Be the first on your block to achieve the Dr.'s special brand of enlightenment and get a handy screen saver in the bargain, containing 100 additional answers fished out of the greatest hits drawer.

Put Dr. Science's trademark boast on your chest! Black "I Know More Than You Do!" lettering on yellow cotton t-shirt. Perfect attire for hanging around the laboratory or college campus. Note: add $1 shipping charge for each t-shirt.

This pack includes the wonderful yellow ceramic Smug Mug, which proudly proclaims "I Know More Than You Do!" on one side and "Ask Dr. Science!" on the other. Also included is the Smug Shirt, an all-cotton beefy t-shirt that says "I Know More Than You Do!" on the front, black lettering on yellow. And that's not all! Heck, you'll also get the fabulous Dr. Science Primer on CD which includes nearly 60 classic Dr. Science episodesYou save $6.90 on this bundle.

PERSONALIZED DR. SCIENCE GREETING
This is Unique!    

How would you like to hear Dr. Science deliver a personal greeting to you by name, or to your spouse, child, telephone callers, or anyone else you choose? You write the greeting (up to 45 seconds long) or choose one of the birthday, anniversary, graduation, or answering machine messages we've written. You can hear what those greetings sound like by clicking If you choose one of these prepared messages, Dr. Science will record a fresh copy substituting your name (or someone else's) for that of Ignacio Fortunato.
   We'll deliver your message in digital form via email or on audiocassette tape. You choose the message and the means of delivery, and we take it from there.A unique GREAT gift for the holidays or any special occasion. If you've got any questions, write to us by clicking here, or indicate your choice of greeting below.

Nearly 60 classic "Ask Dr. Science" episodes highlight this hour-long collection of misinfotainment--the second of the various "best of" collections issued in the 20-year-history of the series. Includes such vital data as the truth about spam (er, the food), why pens don't work in banks, proper footwear, the religions of the praying mantis and other insects, facts about snowflakes, zebras and supermarket scanners, the Sluggo and Pia Zadora syndromes and many other topics too absurd to mention. Plus Dr. Science and Rodney explain how to turn your home into your very own lab! 61 minutes

Why spend years in College when you can receive an honorary Master's Degree in Science from Dr. Science? Save time, term paper trauma, and thousands in tuition with Dr. Science's own sacred parchment. It arrives blank for you to fill in the honoree's name.  

No flying toasters here! Instead the Dr. boosts your knowledge quotient by answering 100 gold star questions while you take a much-needed relaxation vacation from real work. This is the same user customizable and graphically compelling screen saver found on the Dr. Science Get Smart! CD. Guaranteed to work on any 100% compatible Windows machine (just try to find one of those). Click on the picture at right to download a FREE 4-question trial version. If you like what you see, call the Dr.'s Fortress of Arrogance at 1-800-989-DUCK to reveal the remaining 96 gems.

DUCK’S BREATH MYSTERY THEATER unleashes a five CD box set! This year, the Ducks digitized everything they ever recorded, then distilled it to BEHIND THE COMEDY, close to five hours of hilarity, hosted by Ducks Bill Allard and Merle Kessler. It includes classic pieces by their best known characters – Ian Shoales, Dr. Science, and Randee of the Redwoods, sketches from their two albums (Born to Be Tiled and Out of Season), public radio series (Duck’s Breath Homemade Radio), and bits from their appearances on NPR’s All Things Considered. The five BEHIND THE COMEDY radio programs also feature musical interludes created by SpongeBob SquarePants composer Andy Paley. Thirty years of comedy on five CDs, just $24.95.

A 90-minute 35mm feature film that premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. Only available on this web site. The Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre troupe wrote and starred in this zany Iowa tale involving a giant radioactive cow, Hollywood filmmakers, and star-struck citizenry.

Here it is: the much-anticipated compendium of classic Duck's Breath sketches, performed by the boys last July in San Francisco. Thirty years of goofy comedic genius are captured in live performance, with commentaries by the Ducks, and by Doctor Science. Thrill to the antics of Randee of the Redwoods, Sister Mundi Mister Johnson, Ian Shoales, and Mr. Tall Jars, in such classic sketches as Art Show, Four Hole Buick (Car Opera), More Than a Box, and much, much more. This lavishly-produced DVD also includes Duck's Breath video from the vaults, scads of historic photos, and a variety of unique comedy features.

The finest and funniest recorded moments in the 20 year history of Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre. A 60-minute aural cornucopia of laser-targeted lampoonery, surrealistic shtick and just good old-fashioned yuks -- served up in stream of 90 second chunks for comedy connoisseurs. Featuring Denny, in-house psychologist, the Boogaloo Players, Dr. Science, Randee of the Redwoods, and much, much more.

A double-length, 90-minutecassette that captures the true essence of the Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre radio spirit. You'll hear Ian Shoales and Dr. Science scattered among aural fantasies of Duck's Breath radio characters, sketches and ravings. Includes the half-hour adaptation of their semi-epic western parody "Senseless Cruelty", plus Goofus & Gallant, Rex The Wonder Announcer, poet/artist Grudge Hansen, Mr. Nifty, Pledge Fun and so much more. If you don't have this cassette, you've never really heard Duck's Breath. That simple.

Click image to enlarge

We're now duplicating cassette copies of our long out-of-print 1980 gem LP from Rhino Records. You can own one of these collector dubs with live Transvestite Farmers Association, When Girls Collide, Taconite, Caffeine Zombies, and what our Firesign Theatre friends once called a true classic (thanks!), "Dogman". Very early Duck's Breath! 40 minutes in length.

We dug out the master recordings and made a crisp, fresh CD version of the Duck's most musical and zany production. If you're a collector or just a fan of America's answer to Monty Python, you can't miss these CD-quality copies of Boogadoo Players, Millionaire Bootcamp, the Underwater World of Jacques Cocteau, Invasion of the Mole People, Dr. Science, and more. Suppressed by government edict for years (okay, it was out of print), now available via this catalog only! 55 minutes in length.

Classic Duck's Breath radio material from the original series the Los Angeles Times called "the funniest 90 seconds on radio." 26 sketches, including Sesame Street Blues, Dhandi, Naked People's Court, Sleepy Bear Minute Mysteries, Autoaerobics, Dr. Science, and Ian Shoales' famous "White Lies." This timeless classic is matched up with the original "I Gotta Go" audiocassette by Ian Shoales, our favorite "seer of sneer" (Chicago Sun-Times). AN INDISPENSABLE 90 MINUTES OF MIRTH for collectors of 80's humor.

More screwball nonsense in these 32 public radio pieces. Early Ian Shoales ("Around the World in 80 Seconds"), Dr. Science, news show nitwits Dangerous Nation, Randee, National Acting Lesson, Baby Boomers Magazine, Sensitive Male Hotline, and more. 60 minutes in length.

Here's a healthy dose of ill humor & healthy sarcasm as Ian Shoales disembowels what passed for the early '90s: Robert Bly, Yuppie Circuses, Absurd Polls, Spin Doctors, Gloomspotters, Religious Yahoos and the legendary Catchphrase History of the World are among the 20 essays on this one-hour extravaganza of the spoken word. Not available in any store!

A hilarious day in the incredible fantasy life of America's resident sneer artist. Destined to become an underground classic for the '90s...this 203 page comic novel is "shot through with genuinely keen satire of contemporary fads and flapdoodle, for which Ian is famous. Perfect World is the most fun of its kind since The Hitchhikers Guide the the Galaxy!" (Booklist). Ian's L.A. dreams lead him from temp job to CEO, from the new age party scene to a North Dakota theme park.

SPLURCH - The Book        

Doctor Science penned the foreword to this 240 page inside look at dot com life. Duck's Breathian Bill Allard tries to answer the question "What were those dot com people thinking?" with a rollicking tale that follows the adventures of five larger than life characters as the prepare for a mythical splurch.com IPO in the months leading up to the new millennium. Click here to read a sample chapter. Or click here to see a special Splurch video.

The price is only $12.95. How many would you like? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10      
                                 

Free of the burden of employment since the end of the 20th century, Ian Shoales is now ready for some damn fun. This is the official recording of the 2003/2004 San Francisco musical hit, BROKE, starring (writer) Ian Shoales and (composer) J. Raoul Brody, with Dave Terry and Amyellyn Kessler rounding out the cast. All dialogue was recorded live at the wonderful Marsh Theatre, with music recorded at Bluff Studios, featuring the miracle of multi-tracking and cheesy production values. It’s part self-help, part musical, all chucklefest. When things get hopeless, the hopeless get BROKE. Warning: Adult Language! On the other hand, BROKE is“…unusually rich in flashes of wit and other sardonic delights.” (SF Chronicle)